*speechless*

Perhaps... Perhaps... Perhaps... I don't wanna know there's a word perhaps. I want an actual answer. Is that hard for you? Ouh well maybe I'm just having too many expectations on you. Somehow, I wanna forget all about you from the beginning till the end. And how much I wish I don't know about you, but, your actions always made me confuse. You never know how much I need to know whether it's TRUE or NOT. Fine. I know you won't know about this. This insane examination was just driving me crazy. But sadly, I lost my faith for the exam. Feel like I'm failing already. But anyhow, it still going on like 2 more fckin' weeks to go on. Right. That's one of the problem that causes US to communicate too. Sorry for waiting me whole night at the camp. I knew how it feels Mr. cause you never know I just feel the same. At least, we could always talk on WEEKEND. Listen that? ONLY WEEKEND! Since you was also in camp on weekdays. Oouh dang! I forgot to tell you about it! Fck! I should have talk to you about it. Making a fixed time for us to talk was just a great way for both of us. Well I'm kinda confuse again, for not knowing what is my actual feeling was. I'm sorry my man. Sutera Habour sunset run was helding again. LOL It's reminding me about the last join I have. I've spend it with one of my friend (well I don't think I'm a friend of hers now). It's quite fun for me. Well.. talking about her, I feel kinda sorry for her. Not knowing why but just, kinda guilty. It really seems a waste for me like, our friendship was broken? I would really like to change everything right into position if I could. But, it'll be okay for me if she'll feel better for quiting our friendship as long as she's satisfied with that. Speaking up about friendship, I'm just a poor player of that. I'm kinda sucks at maintaining friendships because somehow, I never learn to appreciate. Not until it disappear. *sigh* That's why I said I'm a bad player. And she's my only best friend for what I've know recently. Apparently, she's in a relationship with a guy who's a swimmer. LOL Talking about her first love, you'll never believe who's her boyfriend, it's a major shock when you got to know about it. LMAO But it's a good news I think, since it's a good experience for her first love! *wink* Since I have to support her since she's my only trusted and proven best friend (it took years to decide). Apparently, I just found out that I'm kinda like the kind of person who hides their true feelings most of the time. I don't realize at the first but then I really do. What a laugh, living for sixteenth years, I've finally know myself. LOL But somehow, I don't really quite understand what am I feeling or what am I doing something for. *laughs* I'm really kinda stupid at times, what a jerk huh. Ouh well, I think that's all for tonight. Ouh wait, I forgot, I've saved a mama cat and her kitties days before. They are still living well at my house, will seek for adoption some day later only when the kittens are able to live on their own. Gotta find them a great owner! THE END. Chau folks!

Back to posting sesion

First of all, yeah, it's been a long time again for not updating. Felt there's a lot of words tell my dear bloggy. Felt like writing a book. LOL Anyway, I'm still an author of my blog post. *laughs* Can't believe that I'm in form 4 now. And even, 4 Ceria? The science stream class? When days before the PMR examination, I'm so damn confuse and worried more. One sentence of word with ''What if I can't score A in Science and can't git into science stream?" keep crossing my mind all the time. Thus, Science paper II was damn difficult questions. I sweat all the time before realizing the result, but there was a unexpected result that I score A in Science subject! OMG. It's so unbelievable! I can't figure it out! I even ask my friend beside to check for me was there something wrong with my eyes, but no, there wasn't any. Soon then, of course, I'm someone who was so proud of my results man! Finally, I made it. But as an advise, being a science stream student wasn't as easy as you thought. As my viewpoint, entering science stream was like signing a contact. Which were like, suffer before you get benefited. Anyway, it just a simple answer that I enter was just because it was my labour of love. And even, I start dreaming of entering Science stream since I was a primary 6 student. LOL I love Science, I enjoy it at every corner of it! =) So no matter how tough it was, I will try my best to go through all of it. I swear! Having new style of days in school. Having tons of fun with different people from days before. And this moment reminds me of you, my dear friend, it's the first time I studied in a class without laughing out with you all the time like crazy. LOL But since this week, days have going better. Just like today, I've be fooling around so much with S and O. LMAO Especially S, she is so silly that I can't stand to treat her nice! LOL And O, ouh man I love her so much! I MEAN! Not as a lessbo is just as a friend, I found she have so many merit that I've gotta learn from her. Plus, everything she likes was so equal to me. OMG. Unbelievable, I thought I was some kind of weirdo and now I've found someone who look alike to me. I mean, in the same interest in everything. Well it was really fun in my new class. I love it. But one thing that, I'm still not used to walk home alone to the bus stop. So I will be like waiting O to go with her? Because she was always the last one to leave. I hope she don't mind of that. O.O" My birthday was almost around the corner. Still undecidable where to celebrate. Maybe, it would be at citymall pizza hut? Well, I'm just searching for some place which were like can have some fun after dinner. But seems like I have limited pax for my invitation. *sigh* Anyway, it's still under confidential for the decisions. I'm gonna have another headache for this. LOL Lastly, I made fish and chip!! My dad bought me some fish fillet and.. I did it!!! It taste good of course. LOL Well actually, I learn to make it while working in a western food cafe. LOL But surely, I've added some of my secret ingredients too. xD So, I guess that's all for now bloggy. Felt moodless to type some more in a sudden. =) Chau!

Undescribable

It's the morning of Sunday now. 02.28am.. Well actually, I'm kinda like, waiting someone to get online? But never mind.. I don't even really care whether they get online or not. It's been a boring day today. Nothing seems nothing fishy nor fresh. I've even stayed home the whole day although it's weekend. But no deals, my sister was going off to her annual dinner at night and my niece were half day out with her dad. There's no one who's cooking for our dinner. So that causes I'm in charge to set things well. I've cooked pasta for me myself and my niece. Well cooking Western food wasn't a problem for me so far.. I've already get used to it. In fact, I love it though! *wink* Had supper for tonight again. Which is bought from my sister. Although I know it would destroy my plan for keeping fit, but.. I still wanna dig in those fried noodles and eat like a horse! Hah. I can't help controlling myself. Never mind, I'm starting to work on Monday. Will be slimmer soon. I think? * angel smile* I've made mango pudding tonight! I mean, not just from the packet powder, it's been added with some original mango piece. By the way, I've stolen a piece of mango from my mum's. *evil laughs* xD She suspected me when she get home but I din't admit at the first time. LOL I've been making pudding this time for only one purpose, that is to make a business. I'm giving a try tomorrow night to my boss. I'm gonna discuss with him whether will he accept to team up with me this little business. Well it's a great one if I can get this small business. Because I can still make some money no matter I'm still schooling or not. Bless me with this! Come with me my courage spirits! *laughs* ; ) Lastly, I found that Elaine when online when it was almost 01.30am. Suddenly! Then she told me that Ninja Assasin was a great movie. But I told her that I'm not interested to that kinda movie soon she was like, what the.. *laughs* Sorry girl! Anyway, it popped my mind up with Christmas eve in a sudden. So I've dated her to the glory church at Damai. I've dated Sonia in the last Christmas eve. But I would date her again this year, if she would like to come. That's all for today I think. Abrazos! Chau!

A Friday night

It was Friday today. I mean.. Yesterday.. Because it's like 02.34 in the morning now.. I've been blogging in the midnight recently. The thing was just because I only get online on midnight. I don't really like to get online at Noon nor Morning.. Because.. I just don't feel like and the line was kinda slow. That's the reason I guess. Well.. It's finally the end of the year now.. It's December, the last month of year 2009. And that do also shown that I'm moving to an older age. *shocked* Sounds like I'm really getting older now.. No. Should say, I'm gotta get ready to face my future. Ouh God. It's seems like I'm still too green for it. Dahh.. Anyway, I've bought some new clothes from Christmas shopping today. I've shopped with my eldest sister and my niece today. Because.. My sister were kinda free today. She's on her whole day leave actually. It's the best opportunity for us to shop! =D In fact, my sister was going dinner on Saturday night. So it's absolutely a big NO NO to shop on that day. I'm not gonna prefer a rushing shop neither she do. Bought two clothes and one short pants. Honestly, I love them! *angel face* =D I should have get them earlier because I will have lesser chances to shop later course I'm on my job, again. =.= Hmm.. I think, I'll work harder this time. I gotta be more hardworking. Because there were some facts that let me to appreciate my recent job very much. In fact, my boss was quite.. Gentle and.. Cute? *laughs* LMAO. LOL. I think I'm gonna get some vitamins soon from the phamarcy. Because.. I seems lake of vitamins. Perhaps, it's me myself who din't help to take good care of myself. Anyway.. I've planned to buy before but I've just forgetten about it. It's almost Chrismas soon.. Hope i'll get a BIG present. *laughs* Well honestly, I truely hope it's all $ man! LMAO. That's just because I'm saving it for my next year's trip. To Singapore and Sandakan. Or maybe.. Taiwan? I hope so.. But major saving was for... MY DRIVING LINCENSE! *laughs* I'm crazy about it. Probably, I can't wait! Hmm... But i should! LOL. Okay.. That's all for today's post now. Abrazos! Chau!

Just another day

First of all.. Well it's 06.35 in the morning now. Not to mentioned that my bed was still neat and tidy. Actually that was equal to, well yeah, I've been a vampire the whole night. With no reason though. I think, I was just kinda addicted to the internet? I know that's sounds crazy but, I don't really felt sleepy tonight. I mean.. Today. *wink* But it's kinda good feeling. Because I can watch the moon hanging up highly in the gloomy sky? *laughs* Owh come on, I din't even realize that it was that kinda BRIGHT? Hmm.. I think it's just because when the moon was hanging in the sky alone, and I was n my dream. So, how could I realize how beautiful it was. Not my fault though! *laughs* Lets say welcome to Thursday! Obviously, another day have come came off. Luckily, I got my old job back. Truthfully, it's not working with the old plan which was planned to work at my mum's friend's saloon. Because.. Some problem just came out. Honestly, it's not a HARD thingy for me to get a job. It's just my age problem which always bordering me. Urrgghh! At least, I could start working next week. =) God bless! On the other side, it was summer now at Aussie!! OMG! Honestly, I really hope to step on the land of the kangaroo now. SUMMER man! I truthfully hope that I could feel the heat and fill the view of summer in my eyes baby! Let the wind blow on my face and shinny sun above my head which make me wanna shaded my eyes with my hands. God, bless me with this change. =) Lastly, I'm actually learning French (français) and Spanish (espagnol) now! I love it so much babe! Seriously. Well.. I'm like attending a French class lately for my holiday! It's so much fun I think. *angel face* Think I'm going to have my breakfast with my mother and niece soon! Going to have 'DIM SUM' though. xP Okay, Chau! Hasta pronto! *It's Bye! See u later! in Spanish* Abrazos! *hugs! in Spanish*

My dear bloggy... It's been a lot time I've blogged. Well.. The mood of blogging comes up suddenly. Actually, it was after I've read someone's blog. Well well well.. Words I've read was really touched me up and burst my tears out from the corner of my eye. I never thought you would say that. Honestly.. I hope you to know that, I actually are having the same feeling like you. Our friendship was really seems a miracle to me. I never thought that I would have friends like you. You're crazy, lazy, annoying, a worry-guts, and un-independent. You know what? I regret for din't really appreciate you before. Honestly, I found that I really have a great friend like you this year. Girl, if you could know this I would just want you to know one more thing. You know, you have really been a great friend to me. I mean, your honesty, your jokes, your sense of humour! I won't really be a optimistic person without you in those years. You know what? It's hard to me too for accepting this reality that we're going to be seperated to different class next year? Ouh God, it really takes hard for me because I have been sitting beside I think almost three years I guess. All the things we pass through, was the best memory I ever have recently. You have the best laughter ever among my friends! And do believe me, you are my bestfriend forever! I said this with, crossing my heart. You know, you played an really important role in my high school life. A part of my high school's best memories... I guess I'll miss laughing crazily with you starting up next year. But I hope you could really still hang out with me sometimes next year. You know that, my house door is always welcoming you! In fact, I have your cousins as my neighbour. Well yeah.. I hope at least I could leave a paragraph for your part in my blog. I think.. Thats better than nothing right? God, please bless her with all the best! And please, set devil off her because, she could be falling down easily. God! I've been taking her as my lil'sis in my heart. Hah! Now we got seperated. I strongly hope that our friendship won't faded forever! Anyway, I Love you Gurl! About my high school stuff, as I mentioned I really can't imagine how would I be in class without my perfect lil'friend. Soon as the subjects, I hope I could affort for choosing science stream. Because, hell no I'm going into accountant thingy stream! In fact, I'm really interested in science. I must face the reality no matter how it was! I know I can! *sigh* But I really still can't put up the smiley face. That's a fake for me now.. *sob* What happen to me.. Arrrhh come on, felt really reluctant in a sudden. No choices.. I guess that's the way God want us to be. Maybe there'll be another way waiting for us to discovered to get better. God, I trust on you very much! Please do bless me and my dear friend the best that you could! Thank you! Lastly, Gurl, well, I'm saying that.. Thanks for staying beside me all this time. I'll never ever forget about you! Not even a single laughter you gave before. You're the best! I love you! For now.. It's 03.30am. And it's surely time to say Bye!

Let's just be wild

Was enjoying my favourite song! Urgh! I felt suddenly I was so not me now a days. Sigh. I was so wild and crazy in the pass. But I begin to turn to so quiet, serious, and caring TOO much. I tried to be a good one, not like sinful, but, I saw that I can't really be. So then, I decided to be wild sometimes, to be bad sometimes, to become an evil sometimes!! Hahaha. xD Be stupid too. Wanna be crazy and doesn't care any more things. Wow! Why do you want to act this way? I can't get it. I really can't get it. I can't help myself to maintain these things to you. Because.... I don't really know what are you thinking about. And meanwhile, why can't you just let me get through your mind? *Totally dissapointed* AND YOU! Can you just fuck off?! Don't make me to feel your words were just bullshits! I trust your words so much before but now you did these to me??!! WTF! You always stole something from me. I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!! Stop lighting yourself up between my relationship you faker! FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!! Get lost! Keep your shit ass stuck on the commode you asshole! What the held you are still living in this world! Bitch!!! Fine. Finally I realize that I hate someone so much! Stop acting you faker! Sigh. Tired of it. I think I should just stay with the champagne. Just be wild and crazy and the most important was............ NO VEXATION!!! haha. xD All right. I think thats all for today. Ta-da!